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Self Help

by Self Help

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1.
His Car Pt.2 03:20
i saw you on the street you're riding in his car if there's one thing that i know there's just one thing you come here for walking past me at the party then up to another floor the first time you saw snow you were someone's daughter the first time it was only frozen water you're crossing palms with cash and then you hit the gas back on the 83 corridor under the moonlight howling. well i already copped tonight so now i'm locking the bathroom door. i don't mind if you forget me.
2.
i punch the card drink to my health oh the things that people do to themselves i'm just putting in time like everyone else if sleep is for the weak then i'll fall back asleep and i just keyed the car to my dreams believe in destiny. if indecision is another unmowed lawn i cut the grass or turn on the tv i feel alone at home and work doesn't do it for me i want to know what is free time what is it to be free. now that i'm here i just want to leave, stranded on the couch i watch hannibal lecter's mouth moving silent on the screen no closed captioning in the dark of the apartment i put back on my shoes and move towards the door.
3.
lately my heart's not there
4.
7Eleven 02:38
i walk to 711 step by aching step inch by breaking inch of the concrete the ache there was no amount of advil i could take now the alley's winding like a broken clock how will i get there and will it end there. i can't help myself. i can't stop it. there's a feeling in my head and it won't go away and i've been inside all day. i walk to 711 this last five dollars is eating me up and now i'm buying cigarettes.
5.
i had a girlfriend i never had a car and this is a long drive for someone with something on his mind, like why there's radio static whenever a song comes on and i'm burning through this tank of gas and i'm burning through this cigarette and i'm burning through to where i'm going to. i see the last happy couple in my rear view mirror i hope the road swallows them whole now my stereo system is starting to die i guess there's no shelter in the arts. we could live beside the ocean leave the world behind swim out past the breakers and watch the world die.
6.
Voicemail 03:01
you have to burn a few bridges when you go on a date you have to speak in cliche just so you can relate i don't know where i'm going so i walk down the street to the diner on the corner a cup of coffee a pack of matches this must be fate if life is a film about online lonely talking than the catch is all the actors are married with kids and money but i've got goals like anyone else i'm just a liar like everyone else i've got a stack of paperbacks on my shelf come to my bedroom my interests include looking for something interesting to do and breaking my engagements by not waking up you left me a voicemail after last i saw you you're my favorite goth punk middle finger waving darling and if that's what i get than i give up.
7.
Landlord 02:12
this coffee is as cold as you when you come to collect the rent. landlord if you're out there have mercy on a dying soul i've been alone in this apartment for two weeks washing dishes i've been discontent i've been caffeinated. lately i'm underrated overestimated and i'm biding my time. there's water in the basement through the neighborhood subdivision my roommate's smoking cigarettes locked up in a sunless room please ignore the litter box please ignore the stench my body will be hanging from a noose in the living room when you walk in.
8.
gmail.com 02:27
uh oh i think it's starting to happen. you and me and all my friends are hanging out and you're becoming one of them. have you ever been in a living room or are you in the doorway looking in on me through the glow of a computer screen on google plus hangout it's so hard to hangout it's so hard.

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Recorded at the Cerveza Course, Summer 2015.
Email- selfhelp@cervezacourse.com

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released November 5, 2015

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Self Help Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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