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I'm Normal

by Self Help

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1.
no friends 02:34
i've got no friends at all they've all grown up and coupled off. love boat smashed up on the rocks of my dreary routine. i'm not isidore starving to death in a room, i'm not frank dying over a woman, i'm not danielle i'm not too pure for this world. the idea of wasting my day is keeping me up at night and i can't sleep.
2.
fall 02:48
what is a spine besides the thing that holds you upright where is the hedge that hides you when you've fallen down what is the sign that separates you is it a digital distance or a hospital visit i got a call from your girlfriend at ten a.m. you didn't even say goodbye. boiling in our seats waiting for the next thing to entertain us, take a circular saw to the wall excavate middle fingers and bad tattoos. it was an accident, i didn't ask for it, chipped in without consent and the only rule is that you can't quit.
3.
wasted 02:44
looking out the window onto a years worth of driven snow. i try not to think about how the end of every street is the end of a rope. the tv's on and i'm barely breathing under the covers alone at home it was the best last decision i ever made opened the can and held my nose. getting wasted in my bedroom and i'm trying to forget you and my pillow it still smells like your shampoo and i don't know what to do. i've got a heart made of plastic reeds and their accompanying keys the melodica lodged in my chest cavity plays in one key and that's e for ennui. when i wake up i don't get out of bed my hands go numb holding my phone above my head
4.
5.
buzzed 02:32
my disposition soured i said goodbye to the world in the end i worshipped the disorder of my mind i was idle and prone to high fever i'm falling i'm falling for whatever's calling abandoned to nowhere and nothing but flourishing anyway in wildflowers and weeds and now the dirty flies buzz where the house used to be you're in my heart you're in my mind.
6.
shower 02:26
when you're backed into a corner get busy idiot the thug you call your past is blackjacked and booted when you're on the lamb from yourself beeline to the safe house your warrant's been posted the snipers are in the crow's nest and your last three apartments fire escapes are sabotaged for your descent go find those pits where you buried yourself scattered across the city when you're standing in the shower until the hot water runs out you're not thinking about conservation you're not thinking about yourself.
7.
dirtbag 03:30
by the attic window when the oatmeal's got so cold, the rafters don't even seem too appealing. i feel like a gnat with its wings removed dying on the rim of a glass yea honey there's a fly in your chartreuse you said there's not enough outdoor seating in this city and whenever we go outside it's raining if i'm doomed to failure i'll be the charming loser at every happy ending darkening it's door when i was younger i thought i had it figured out i hate you cause you don't give in even though there's nothing left barbed wire in the bed we're not switching sides cut me into ribbons all night. i'm just sitting in the house waiting for the storm to pass.

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Recorded winter 2015/16 at the cerveza course.

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released March 12, 2016

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Self Help Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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